


“Why do I live?”

by LaneMartin13



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies)
Genre: Forgive me it hurts me too, I don’t know why I’m like this, M/M, OW, This is just how my mind is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-13 13:28:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14749746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaneMartin13/pseuds/LaneMartin13
Summary: In which Thomas ponders the reason why he lives.





	“Why do I live?”

**Author's Note:**

> In advance, I’m sorry about this. This is just how my mind gets and after reading a (happy) fanfiction about Newtmas I just got all sad and was reminded about what happened. So this is what I wrote immediately after and it not really a fic, more of a blurb, but you get the gist, I hope you like it even though it might hurt.

_I wonder if Thomas wakes up in the middle of the night with Newt’s name on his lips, his image in his mind, his accent in his ear, and his touch on his fingers and just thinks for a moment that he’s there- before it settles in and he realizes that the bed is empty, there’s a deafening silence and an aching absence. He tries to fill the void, but there’s a void in his heart that’s just empty. And he drinks tea made from tea leaves every morning like Newt loved, he fiddles with his jacket like he did, he lets his hair grow out just the slightest bit before cutting it because he knows that’s how he liked it, he takes a walk along the beach at sunrise and sunset and watches the sun like he knew he loved, the sun that held hope and new beginnings and he wraps his fingers around the necklace on his neck and wishes he could see this too. He deserved to see it. And he just lives day by day in his memory, for him, because he deserved to be there and see all of it. But if Newt can’t, Thomas would. He would live for him, even though living without him was the worst pain imaginable. So maybe Thomas lives in the safe haven so the others won’t have to suffer another loss, so they may stay together, and most importantly, for Newt and the others who didn’t make it, who deserved to make it, who fought for so long, and who loved and loved but the world just couldn’t give them the love they deserved. And Thomas knows he’ll be with him again. One day. But for now, he lives day by day, and he feels his presence. He knows he’s there. And he knows he’d want him to be happy. For him._

**Author's Note:**

> I’m always available to rant and cry. Because that’s what I’ve been doing for the last five months since TDC. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
